Animal jokes
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
They are hairy.
What do you call a three humped camel?
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.