Animal jokes
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
Memes
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
What do you call a three humped camel?
They are hairy.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.