Animal jokes
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
I want to die.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.