Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Animal Jokes
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
