Animal jokes
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.