What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What is a cow on two legs?
YO MAMA
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I like zebras.
