Animal jokes
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
bro what?
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.