Animal jokes
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
What can fly?
Bird.
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
I like zebras.