Animal jokes
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.