Animal jokes
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
What is an egg?
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!