Animal jokes
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
They are hairy.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.