Animal jokes
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
Memes
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!