Animal jokes
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I rescued a birdie
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.