Animal jokes
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
water puppy
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
They are hairy.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.