Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What do you call a three humped camel?
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.