Animal jokes
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.