Animal jokes
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What do you call a three humped camel?
They are hairy.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.