Animal jokes
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What did the cow 🐄 watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies 😂🐄🖥