Animal jokes
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.