Animal jokes
A black cat will be racist next.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.