Animal jokes
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
Memes
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Rat
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.