What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.
Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.
The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,
The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
how old is uuuuuurrrr mom. five cringe.... i know that was a crap joke... not even a joke
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
whats does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
that it will never get old.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
