Age jokes
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!