Waitress

Waitress Jokes

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

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Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Cuz she clearly has no taste." She responded.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount, I served in the war?" The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?" "Nein," said the old man.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy

Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"

The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."

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A kid goes in to a restaurant without parents and a waitress came up and said you have to leave this is a family restaurant

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."

i was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled " do you know CPR?" i replied "i know the entire alphabet!" we all laughed and laughed, well. except one person

So I was sitting at a bar right, That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

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