Afterlife jokes

Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"

If Tim goes to heaven and Tom goes to hell, where does Tam go?

Up your ass.

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

Should I burn heaven?

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

What is hell to you?

Jesus!!!!!

He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.

But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!

And our Eternal Heaven!!

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!