Guardian Jokes

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.

Orphan: They're dead.

Me: A promise made is a promise kept.

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

What does the "f" stand for in orphan?

Family.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

What's an orphan's favorite store?

Home Depot.

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

What should you never say to an orphan?

"Your Mom."

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”