Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
I killed myself, then woke up.
