Aed jokes

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

A happy family.

What were the candles doing at a birthday party?

Getting lit.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?

Still no fucking idea.

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!

America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"