Aed jokes

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

B because you're beautiful.

A C because you're caring.

And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

I lick poo for a living... You?

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.