Aed jokes

Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

Because they have a break down.

What is a cow?

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

What did the frog order?

A diet Croak!

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

Are multiple choice questions too easy?

A) Yes.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

What do you call a nervous zucchini?

An edgy veggie.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.