Aed jokes
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
A... B... Sea?
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.