Aed jokes
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.