Aed jokes
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.