Aed jokes
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
I lick poo for a living... You?
A... B... Sea?