Aed jokes
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.