Aed jokes
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Meme:
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)