Aed jokes
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.