Aed jokes
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.