Aed jokes

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."

What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?

A homeless shelter.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.

Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?

A: Delici-Oso

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

I bullied a handicap today.

What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!