Aed jokes
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
Anyone here a spoon?
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Knock knock.
Boo.
No need to cry, it was only a joke. Yeh, I can't think of anything.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.