Stone jokes
Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.
Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.
Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."
Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.
He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
Burn witches and stone whores.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
What’s an orphan's high school nickname?
Lone stone.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
What do you call a masculine lesbian who smokes weed?
A stoned butch.
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
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What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.