50+ Stone Jokes

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

Funny Test Answers #6

A test paper with the title "Pre Test - Answer these questions as accurately as possible" written on it. The student's answers are written in ink. The answers are often unexpected and witty, leading to the teacher giving the student an A+ for creativity and an F for the overall exam. Some of the questions include "In which battle did Napoleon die?", "What is the main reason for divorce?", and "How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?".

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."