Aed jokes
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.