Aed jokes

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?

A) Cancer.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.

When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

I got kicked outta the poker game.

They said I was a little cheetah.

I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.

How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.