Aed jokes
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Joke.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?