Aed jokes

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

You know what pun is used for "waist?"

Nothing. You'll find nothing.

It's just a waste of time.

What happens when an alien connects with your device?

The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.

Why did the MOSFET go to jail?

It had a charge for battery.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!