Aed jokes
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I rate these jokes 9/11.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.