Aed jokes
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.