Aed jokes
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*