Aed jokes
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.