Aed jokes
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
I have a crush on my sister!
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.