Aed jokes

What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?

Carats.

The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

The cat still died, why?

It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!

Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.

I poo 11 times a day.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

What do you call a once that's an insect?

A creepy crawly.

Hey, Britain, no queen? :(

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

4!

One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.

My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.