Aed jokes

By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...

The parents aren’t home.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?

A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

What is an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't scream "daddy!"

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.