Aed

Aed jokes

Lamp

    • A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

    High-five

    • People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

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    • Aed memes

    Bathroom

    • Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.

    "Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"

    "Yes, Miss Drake."

    "Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."

    "Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."

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    • Duck

    • Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

    That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

    That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

    Bro it’s a joke...

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    • Lesbian

    • How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

    I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

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    • Bus Driver

    • (Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

    (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

    (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

    (Kid) Quit what?

    (Bus Driver) Living.

    (Kid) But it was a joke!

    (Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

    (Kid) Ok.

    (Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

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    • Depression

    • Me: Hey, how are you?

    Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

    Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

    Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

    Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

    Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

    Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

    Me: Ok, and their names?

    Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

    Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

    Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

    Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

    Me now hates my life. :)

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    • Death

    • A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.

    The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

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