Aed jokes

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

How do you know Adam and Eve were White?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

JFK is definitely a bottom.

Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?

There is sperm on the screen.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.

We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!

My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!