Aed jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
P.O.V a guy sees there girl
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"