Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy
we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time
then, she asked me flirtatiously
"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet".
She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys
opens her door
turn on the light
and she yells towards upstairs
"Mom, are you still awake?”
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Whats a pirates favourite key on the key board
Others: r
Rrrr you would think so but it be the C
I love the smell of my F5 key. -- It's very refreshing.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶
- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏
Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶
Why did the car key never fit in? He was too door key.
Why did the polack locked himself out of his car? Because his keys were inside of the ignition
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill gates!
Some locked me out of my house today.... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of peoples houses? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Cuz it forgot which key to use!
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger
