Aed jokes
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.