Aed jokes
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!