Aed jokes

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

What do you call a disabled Arab?

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.