Aed jokes

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.

I

hate

you!

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Cakatoo."

"Cakatoo who?"

"So, you're a Rooster now?"

Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?