Aed jokes
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!