Aed jokes

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?

Chocolate drops.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

How do you stop a woman from choking?

Back up an inch.

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?

Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

What happens if a cookie turns emo?

It becomes a cookie cutter.