Aed jokes
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Feminists are a joke.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.