Aed jokes
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.