Aed jokes
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!