Stalker jokes

The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol