Aed jokes
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.