Aed jokes

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

Q: What are cheetahs?

A: The worst card players!

These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.

What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?

At home.

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?

A speech impediment.

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...