Aed jokes

At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.