Aed jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.