Aed jokes
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but itโs dead in the water.
Memes
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. ๐๐๐
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Build a man a fire, and heโll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and heโll be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.