Aed jokes
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.