Aed jokes

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, feminists don't change anything.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?

Because he's dead.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?

A: The size of balls they play with.

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.

It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.

Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?

I’m gay.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.