Aed jokes

A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?

Because he is in a prison cell.

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"

How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

Shortly after the hole was finished, everyone in the forest was looking for long grass to fill the hole. The upper layer covered it with short grass and scattered some grass around the hole so it didn't seem as conspicuous. The next evening, the villagers hid in their houses and turned off the lights and waited inside, while one of the farmers stood outside and, if possible, unobtrusively skimped on a cart.

Around midnight, the Headless Rider appeared with his horse in the village. He saw the seemingly single peasant scooping his hay and rode towards him. He was about to swing his axe, and while he was doing so, he overlooked the slightly more scattered grass near the farmer – and thus fell into the trap. He clumsily slumped into the prefabricated hole together with his horse and now lay there helplessly inside, together with his horse, which swayed in panic as the rider's axe was stuck in its back.

When the villagers heard this, they all stormed out of the houses to surround the hole. They saw the Headless Rider, and when he noticed all the villagers around him, he cursed: “Gaaah! You stupid villagers caught me! I can't do much down here. I give up.” The villagers took his axe away from him. Now they only needed a just punishment for the rider.

One of the villagers shouted: “We should tie him to a rope and hang him! He tried to kill us all and plagued us for a long time. So we should kill him and let him suffer for a long time!” The other villagers agreed with him. So they tied a thick rope to a branch of a large tree that stood in the village garden. The villagers took the Headless Rider out of the hole and dragged him to the rope. As they were about to hang the rope around his neck, they noticed that something didn't fit in their plan to hang the Headless Rider. Then the Headless Rider cried out: “You stupid mortals, I have no head at all! Why are you trying to hang me?”

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

If you are a female pedo, I am looking for you.

And if you want, I'll give you my wand.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?

Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?

Because he thought it said "Home Deport."

What do you call a fish and a guitar?

Tunafish.

What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?

A transformer.

Roses are tree.

I shoved a battery up my butt.

Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.