Aed jokes
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
My grandfather died in 9/11.
He was a great pilot.
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.