Aed jokes
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?
How to silence a black protester at a rally?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵
LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA
I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
It's a Italy day outside the fields.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.