Aed jokes
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Roblox jokes be like: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I should create a game.
*Creates game* bruh my game got to thousand hundred 700,000 likes!
😄😄😄
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."