Aed jokes
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!