You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."
Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
White girl : So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight? Me holding a rock of meth : YES!!!
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you ...”
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
My Brother's addicted to buying ladders, he loves to get high
"Rehab's for quitters and I don't give up."
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! i'll be in court.
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes
What do kids and drugs have in common , I sell both of the
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
