Aed jokes

Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?

A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

Are you a race car?

Cuz I’m tryna fuck.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

What do you call a black person?

Dark humor.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.

One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.

I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.

I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.

We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.