Aed jokes

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

Why take a nap on the toilet?

Because it's a restroom.

What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?

A spicket fence!

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Yum!

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”

The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”

How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!